After waiting for months, my cousin Stephanie Stoneking and her husband Robby had finally received a child through adoption. Stephanie and Robby’s commitment to make themselves permanent parents to Molly is nothing short of heroic. They and so many other adoptive parents go beyond their biological familial responsibilities when they commit to another child for his or her entire life. These couples have courageously sacrificed worldly conveniences so they can give children the home and the love that they need.
I do not think I can capture the full story in my words, so I decided to interview Stephanie and share her experience in her own words on this blog post:
Chad: What motivated you to adopt a child?
Stephanie: When we were considering adoption, we knew there were many children who needed something different then what their biological parents could offer. The question that came to mind: If we don’t love them, who will? We knew that we could provide a home that is fun, loving, and centered on Christ. We decided to start going through the process because we feel that a child shouldn’t be unloved based on the choices their parents made. We are able to give Molly an environment of love and her birth Mom didn’t feel like she could provide that.
C: Many people in our culture believe you cannot love an adopted child as much as your biological child. What can you say about that?
S: That is false. I look at Noah [my biological son] and Molly and I don’t see anything different when it comes to love. The minute I held Molly, she belonged to my heart.
When we got our first call on Molly about eight hours after she was born, there was something about this call and her that pulled at our hearts for Robby and I. I felt like I woke up a million times that night and my repeated prayer was “God, please, please let her belong to us.” … The love we have for Molly before meeting her was something that automatically fell onto our hearts – and that love is no different than the love that fell onto our hearts when I learned I was pregnant with Noah. Then the love grew stronger when I first held Noah, just like our love for Molly grew even more when we held her for the first time!
S: Molly has herself wrapped around his finger. I don’t know how people do it alone. He is a different type of role model as a father. It is healthy for Noah to see a man of faith and a provider, and it is important for Molly to see how a man respects and protects his wife. This will help Noah and Molly make good decisions in the future. I hope that Molly is able to see the love Robby has for me and desires that love for herself.
C: What would you tell people considering adoption? What would you tell people considering abortion?
S: For adoption, I would say to pray about it and be open to all walks of life. The biological parents are not in an ideal situation. If you are listening to God’s call, God has a plan for you in adoption, and he has a specific child in mind for you. God is going to take care of you and guide you through it. Molly fits into our family like a glove. She was crying really hard until we met her at first, but after one hour of being cuddled and told “I love you” she calmed down. She was a different baby after she met us.
In regard to abortion, we were actually told that Molly’s mother had considered an abortion. Women considering abortion often wonder if anyone would be able to love her child. In my eyes, Molly is more than wanted, she is more than loved! We have been praying for Molly and her birth mother when we started the adoption process, and the birth mother never even knew that she was being prayed for.
Conclusion: Molly’s adoption story is one beautiful adoption story, and I know there are many others. I personally have been inspired by their witness to consider adoption in my own future.
Special Note: Adoption can cost between $10,000 and $25,000 for administrative and legal fees. If you are interested in making a contribution for Molly’s adoption, send a check made out to Catholic Charities with Stoneking Adoption in the memo line.
The check can be mailed here:
Robby and Stephanie Stoneking
905 Pintail ST NE; Silverton, OR 97381